Dear N,
by Kanrai
Summary: Touya writes a letter full of things he wishes he could tell a certain green haired man, but can't. He hopes by the time he finally finds him he can confess the feelings he's left bottled up inside. Isshushipping.


_Dear N,_

Touya stared at the mostly blank sheet of paper hoping that it would somehow make the letter write itself. He drummed his fingers on the desk, deep in thought. He had so many things to say, so many feelings to convey, so much he doubted the paper could even contain it all, so much he couldn't seem to write any of it down.

_How have you been? I heard you explored the other regions after you left. I've been searching for you every day since you left._

But you always seem be one step ahead ofme, he thought. Thinking back, every time he got to a new town in a new region he'd hear rumors floating around of a green haired man flying on a majestic black dragon. It became somewhat of an urban legend in some places, but he knew better. It was the person he longed for, the person he wanted to see most in the world.

He knew his feelings wouldn't be reciprocated. After all, despite his tearful pleas for him to stay it was all for naught. N, the person Touya realized he _loved_, simply shook his head and left everything behind. Left _him_ behind.

_I know you probably don't want to see me. You wanted to leave everything behind right?_

He decided to follow after him. To chase him to the ends of the Earth.

Touya knew he probably wouldn't be able to properly convey his feelings to the other boy the next time they met, if that time ever came, so decided to write a letter. A letter that would expose his deepest fears as well the multitude of emotions he'd experienced in the course of the past 6 months.

It would also give him a chance to get his feelings out of his system. After all, he doubted Bianca or Cheren would even begin to understand what he was feeling. If anything, they were angry at his sudden disappearance. Oh the irony. He realized with a sigh that he had left his two childhood best friends in nearly the same manner N left him, but could only hope they would forgive him when the time came for him to return.

_You told me to fulfill my dream; it was the last thing you told me. Funny thing is, back then I lied. I didn't have a concrete dream, I was just following the path I had been put on. "Collect all the gym badges and defeat the elite four and champion," is what I was always told trainers were supposed to do. No one told me I was going to meet you, or about the time I was going to spend with you. Not until I realized what I lost is when I discovered my dream. Ironically it's when you told me to chase after it._

_It was to be with you._

Thinking back to those innocent days he missed so dearly brought a pain deep in his chest. It lingered as he reminisced back to the times where he would "stumble" into N's arms or the small smiles N gave to him as he patted his hair. He treasured each and every tiny moment that he spent with the green-haired man more than anyone could ever know.

_I would give anything to see you just one more time, and I can only hope you still think about me sometimes. The time I spent with you has become something I can't live without. Maybe someday we can meet again and make more memories together. Maybe someday I'll be able to fulfill this extravagant dream of mine._

_With Love,_

_ Touya_

Glancing over at the clock beside the bed his newly captured Mightyena was napping on, Touya decided he should get to bed. He'd be making the long trip to Lilycove City in the morning on foot since his Mightyena wasn't used to being put in his pokeball yet. He also didn't want to chance missing N, just in case he was hiding out in the forest on the way there.

Touya sighed as he folded the letter and stuck deep down at the bottom of his bag. More likely than not, he wouldn't have the guts to ever give N the letter he spent so much energy writing. It was a good stress relief though; he was able to get out all his feelings without having to speak them out loud.

"Maybe I should write some more," he whispered.

He carefully slid into bed next to his Mightyena and lightly snuggled into the wolf's obsidian fur. The Mightyena glanced up at his new trainer, who had already closed his eyes and was falling into a dreamless sleep. Unbeknownst to Touya, the observant pokemon had been watching from his spot on the bed, and could see the emotional turmoil the champion was going through. He couldn't understand what was going on in Touya's mind, but he did know he was suffering.

Despite being a bit difficult at first, he had decided for himself to stick with this trainer, and he didn't like being in the company of someone so…depressed. Pondering the possible explanations for the strange behavior, the wolf pulled the blanket over the trainer and drifted off into his own sleep.

* * *

A/N: So this is my first fanfic. Feel free to leave a review about what you think. It's pretty much me throwing some cheese and feelings on a word document. I might or might not continue to write letters about Touya's experiences in his search for N (depends on if anyone wants me to). Thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed it.


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